I thank you . . .

You grabbed me. Somehow you were able to entice me with your way. I was weak, naïve, unknowing. I wanted so desperately to be wanted. You wanted me. I wanted to feel the desire. I desired you. I wanted to hear I was beautiful. You told me everyday. I wanted to be loved. That was the one thing you couldn’t do. All I asked was you try. You couldn’t do that either. You didn’t think you should have to try. It should just happen. I thought that myself for a very long time. The table had turned on me. I learned from you that you do have to work. But in the meantime I lost my heart. And then you took it so carelessly and broke it. It broke like never before. Why? I honestly don’t know. You didn’t have it for long. But you had the whole thing in your hands and you dropped it from a thousand stories up. And it broke that fast. To find all the pieces now will take a tremendous amount of work. But I am finding them. One by one. I realized that it is what you do. You swept me away. I let you. If it were now, it would never happen because I know. I’m aware. I see you in a light that was not there before. You planned what you did. You knew how to hurt. And you did it very well. But I have to thank you. Because without you I would not be where I am now. I am strong. I am in love. I laugh. I still cry, but the tears dry faster now. They don’t leave a mark anymore. Not like you. You left a mark on my heart that will always be there. A reminder. A reminder that I can be beautiful without you. I can feel love without pain. I can desire anything and have it too. So thank you for breaking my heart. I am eternally grateful for the pain because the pain gave me strength. And I will use that strength forever to find my happiness without you.